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[30 Dec 2006|07:30am] |
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It's 7 in the morning. I haven't sleept since 7 last afternoon. I'm miserable. I dunno why I'm updating this, but I have no one to talk to and am lonely out of my mind. I wish I could just dissapear. That'd make me really happy, if I could just leave and never come back. Does anyone read this? Would anyone care? I'm sure people write things like this on their livejournal all the time. I'm nothing special. Why bother doing anything? The only things I truely want right now are unobtainable. Should I keep wishing for a better future? I don't feel like trying anymore. Actually, aside from simply staying alive, I've completely stopped trying. I dunno. I'm going to get off the keyboard now. I guess.
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| surveeeyyy (I'm bored) |
[29 Apr 2006|12:40pm] |
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mood |
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 blah |
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music |
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Sambomaster!!!111 |
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[x] You know someone that cares about you.
[ ] You have a boyfriend/ girlfriend/ fiancee/ husband/ wife.
[x] You have your own room.
[x] You own a cell phone.
[ ] You get good grades.
[x] You have an ipod/ mp3 player.
[ ] Your parents are still married.
[ ] You have more than 2 best friends.
[x] There is a swimming pool in your backyard.
[x] You live in a house.
T O T A L: 6
[x] You dress how you want to.
[ ] You hang out with friends more than once a week.
[x] There is a computer/ laptop in your room.
[ ] You have never been beaten up.
[x] You never cry more than twice a month.(or never cry at all)
[x] You are allowed to listen to the music you want to.
[x] Your room is big enough for you.
[ ] People don't use you for something you have.
[x] You have been to a concert.
[x] You laugh more than twice a day.
T O T A L: 7
[ ] You have over 100 friends on myspace.
[x] You have pictures on myspace.
[x] You get allowance.
[ ] You collect something normal.
[x] People don't make fun of you to be mean.
[ ] You look foward to go to school.
[ ] You don't wish you were someone else.
[ ] You play a sport.
[ ] You do something after school.
[ ] You shower daily.
T O T A L: 3
[x] You own a car.
[x] You usually don't fight with your parents.
[ ] You're healthy.
[ ] You've never had a cavity.
[ ] You are happy with your appearance.
[ ] You aren't self-consious at all.
[ ] You have never got a failing grade in your life.
[x] You have friends.
[ ] You have so many inside jokes with friends.
T O T A L: 3
[ ] You know what is going on in the world.
[ ] You care about sooo many people.
[ ] You usually aren't sick.
[ ] You know more than one language.
[x] You have a screen name.
[ ] You own a pet.
[x] You know the words to more than 5 songs.
[ ] You don't have any enemies.
[ ] You are happy you're living.
T O T A L: 2
Now count up the number and multiply by 2. Then repost saying 'My life is __% perfect
42%?
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[23 Apr 2006|11:14pm] |
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The rain makes me feel on the verge of a nervous breakdown. :/
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| How do you do quotation marks again? (New writing) |
[25 Feb 2006|06:22pm] |
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mood |
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 accomplished |
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music |
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holland 1945 - Neutral Milk Hotel |
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So I wrote this over the past two weeks or so. I'm just trying to write something pretty. And even though it seems a bit too autobiographical and or a copy of norwegian wood and bannana yoshimoto books, I still kinda like it. I'm going to go try getting it published by the school liteary magazine, so I need alot of feedback and editing. It's my first draft and I'm going to change it until march 10, when the thing is due. So uh. yeah. Please read this and give me some feedback. I NEED ATTENTION WAHHHH.
( Street Spirit )
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| Something stupid. |
[01 Feb 2006|08:45pm] |
In our school we had a celebration of bubble wrap day. On January 30th they just put up piles of bubble wrap on walls and had some information about the product in some quiz board. Being the childish fuck that I am, I was GODDAMN AMAZED by this. I stood there and looked at it and popped them as loud as I could. And it felt cool. Sadly, I can't say the same for half of the people who ended up popping the bubble wrap on the wall. They'd just walk by it hitting the wall at random intervals while walking. Are people this busy in life? That they can't just stand still for a moment and pop the damn stuff right? Are they even enjoying popping the bubble wrap? Is the world in that much of a rush to get to point a to point b? AM I THE ONLY IDIOT WHO FINDS THIS STRANGE?
There was one girl who stood still and popped the bubble wrap. I smiled at her and she did back. We should create a cool club. Though she'd probably think I'm a strange stalker.
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| 19! |
[24 Dec 2005|11:23am] |
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mood |
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 curious |
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WAHHH! SO OLD!
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| I <3 huckabees IS a good movie. |
[07 Dec 2005|09:30pm] |
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Yeah, I watched it again with my sister. Maybe it's just fun going around with people almost playfully in the crap I think in circles about. Maybe it wasn't so fun the last time since I got ditched and all. Oh well, I forgive her anyway.
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| Yay rebuying books at full price. |
[25 Oct 2005|10:03pm] |
"And then, I thought about us... these children who fell down life's cartoon holes... dreamless children, alive but not living--we emerged on the other side of the cartoon holes fully awake and found out that we were whole."
Always loved that quote.
Also...
Your password is too easy to guess. It's recommended that you change it, otherwise you risk having your journal hijacked. Visit http://www.livejournal.com/changepassword.bml to change your password.
OH NOES. (I bet my journal gets hijacked soon! AHH!)
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| Shoot me. Seriously. |
[12 Oct 2005|03:43pm] |
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mood |
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 suicidal |
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music |
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nohting really. |
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My house is going to flood in about 5 seconds. Son of a bitch. That's all.
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| Haha, being an angst expert pays off |
[02 Oct 2005|07:52pm] |
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mood |
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bored |
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music |
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Motion Picture Soundtrack - Radiohead |
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We have to write about a song/movie that relates to our generation.
Finally being an angsty depressed loser has a purpose:
Biting social commentary.
( Read more... )
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| Aftermath |
[24 Sep 2005|02:46pm] |
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The "for sale" sign looms over my house yet again... sigh.
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| Let's just get one thing straight... |
[20 Sep 2005|05:25pm] |
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mood |
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 determined |
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music |
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My Bloody Valentine |
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I feel/felt like shit today.
I kinda just went to class, noticed my friend wasn't in class and got dumber as my teacher spoke. I was 30 minutes late but I really wished I wasn't there at all. I could've gotten away with being late too, but I just checked in with the grad assistant. Seth couldn't make it because he ran a stop sign. 3pm and I wanted to crumple into myself, just hug my knees and be invisible to anyone. I wanted to just give up, die, and be reuinited with my brother. The lonely pains are back, my 2 week streak is over. But I dunno, I'm going to write this paper tonight. I want to do well, I want to. I feel determined to give back to my friends the love that finally anchored me from my drifting life. I love you all, and I must do this. I must move on, not as an obligation but as a thing I want to do. It hurts like fuck, but you've done what you could. Now I have to do what I can. Wish me luck. <3
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| woo, go personality tests. |
[16 Sep 2005|05:55am] |
Advanced Global Personality Test Results | Take Free Advanced Global Personality Testpersonality tests by similarminds.com... This is more intersting though. trait snapshot: messy, depressed, introverted, feels invisible, does not make friends easily, nihilistic, reveals little about self, fragile, dark, bizarre, feels undesirable, dislikes leadership, reclusive, weird, irritable, frequently second guesses self, unassertive, unsympathetic, low self control, observer, worrying, phobic, suspicious, unproductive, avoidant, negative, bad at saving money, emotionally sensitive, does not like to stand out, dislikes large parties, submissive, daydreamer Maybe aside from unsympathetic that's pretty much a damned good discription of me.
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| It's my first time! |
[15 Sep 2005|08:48pm] |
YAY I GOT A PARKING TICKET. WAHHHHHHH
I don't even know how much I owe the town of montclair. I think it's 70.
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[13 Sep 2005|11:34am] |
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mood |
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 pleased |
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music |
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say yes |
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And now I feel
changed around
And instead
of falling down
I'm standing up
The morning after...
It's so strange to feel alive.
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[07 Sep 2005|09:46pm] |
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mood |
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 okay |
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music |
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Katamari Damacy! |
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waddledeeeee: We're going to be friends forever okay? :P
mrs skanatto: :]
mrs skanatto: okay.
waddledeeeee: <3
waddledeeeee: In the end that's what I need. Even though more would be nice.
mrs skanatto: <3!
mrs skanatto: yeah
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| Reverend Brandon Teel is my friend. |
[03 Sep 2005|10:11pm] |
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mood |
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 ditzy |
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music |
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My laptop's fan trying to cool this shit down. |
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And for once in my life, I'm starstruck. Poor bastard is going to have to file through my depressing shit in his friends page. Hah. Jesus, I've been reading this guys stuff since I was 14.
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theretard's journal
Failing college